About change- from “This Too Shall Pass”

“Change is an active process that demands commitment and endurance, and requires us to look at uncomfortable truths. We underestimate how much we will change over even the next ten years, let alone our lifetime. If we truly thought about the impact of some of the choices we made, would we still make them? Probably not. Unfortunately, change is for the bad as well as the good. When life sucks, we say, ‘This too shall pass,’ and hopefully it does – but here’s the hitch: when life is good, it, too, inevitably, will pass. The difficult truth we must face is that only death stops life changing.
One thing is certain: we need to adapt in order to grow through that change. The research is robust: those who try to remain rigidly the same are more likely to suffer when change is forced on them; it will limit their capacity for joy in life and even success. This calls for courage. Everybody wants to avoid discomfort and nobody welcomes the heartache change can bring. Time and again, I have witnessed the limitless creative ways in which we anaesthetize pain, but trying to avoid unhappiness means it will last longer. Pain is the agent of change: if we build walls around it, it remains untouched and alive inside us, slowly contaminating our other feelings. It is in the movement between the poles of the past and the future that we adapt. Our innate drive to get on is profoundly powerful, yet we need to slow down, to give ourselves space between our old and new selves. In therapy, we call this a ‘fertile void’, a time of not knowing, a neutral zone of uncertainty that is uncomfortable or even crazy-making. When we block it, the same problems may reoccur in every phase of life. If we accept the pain of change, and learn how to adapt, we will have the energy and confidence to take the next step.”
Excerpt From: Julia Samuel. “This Too Shall Pass.” Apple Books.