Relationship difficulties? What can you do to improve your relationship?

Recently I’ve completed training in Gottman Method for Couples Therapy. Gottman has been studying couples for the last few decades, as such his method is solidly evidence based.
By attending treatment provided by a Certified Gottman therapist you will learn evidence based practices which will help you become a better partner. As long as you want to 🙂
So what are the main principles of this approach?
Gottman created a “sound relationship house” which shows areas that couples should focus on.

Build Love Maps- this means knowing your partner’s world. Do you know who their friends are or what are their currently stresses?
Shared Fondness and Admiration – basically consists of being nice to each other. No harsh comments, no criticism.
Turn Towards Instead of Away- response to your partner when they seek attention. Simple “yeah” or “ok” is enough. This means much more than no response at all.
The Positive Perspective- do you think of your partner in a positive way? Or you tend to remember/focus on what they don’t do?
Manage conflict- this is a big one and it consists of few elements, as it’s important to learn how to fight well 🙂
Make Life Dreams and Aspirations Come True- help your partner to realise their dreams
Create Shared Meaning- what things you have in common? Do you have the same goals in life?

And of course- the walls of the house: trust and commitment. Do you trust your partner? Are you committed and willing to work on your relationship?

As David Burns says- when couples come to treatment they often don’t want to repair anything, they just want to be reassured by the therapist that they are right “you see what I need to put up with?” In order to improve your relationship you need to be committed and decided that you want to get closer to your partner. You also need to be willing to accept that some things will never change, as some people don’t want to change… Can you accept it???